... the intention of man's heart is evil from his youth...
- Genesis 8:21
A lot of times we struggle and are often blindsided by our own evil desires. We are surprised and caught off guard when our image of ourselves as the ultinate champion of all that is good and right fails to match the reality of our our thoughts and passions.
So we lie to ourselves, be it by creating narratives that fit the boy/girl scout image or by entirely failing to include the evil that we have committed in assessing our identity.
But here is the hard, common sense truth; we can not seek treatment for a disease we don't accept as having. If I am convinced I am health, why would I visit the doctors office?
Overtime, I have come to accept that I am selfish and egotistical and not uniquely so. We all are like that.
If you are not convinced, here is a quick litmus test for you. Think of a person you hate with all your heart because they have hurt you in the past. Got that person in your head? Okay. That's it, that's the test. If you can think of this person, it means that you hate them because they did something to you. And you hate them because it's you they hurt. For comparison, real good sacrifices itself for those who seek to hurt it.
So what has accepting my true nature done for me? Well, it has enabled me to truly look at myself in the mirror of my reality and see myself as I am. Nor as I would like to be, but as I really am.
We can not navigate to a destination without knowing where we are. We cannot become better people without accepting who we are.
Only after knowing ourselves can we enact the verse below,
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. - James 1:23-25