Learning > Accomplishing > Neither

I have been thinking a lot about how I seem to be doing a lot of work, both professionally and personally but I find that I am not distilling that into something that is a part of me.

Back in the day, I used to have so much time that each thing I did would not just "get done" but the skills I develop while doing so would become a part of who I am, a part of the DNA of my personality. These days however, I feel like everything is passing me, happening so fast that I feel like more or less I am pretty much the same person I used to be a year ago, both in skill and personality.

Of course, the other side of the coin is that looking back, a lot of times those "distilled" lessons I took had a lot of mistakes and errors in them. But somehow, I can't help but long for those days, where, for lack of a better word, I was aware. I was aware of what I was doing, I was learning.

I miss that.